‘Tis the season of giving, gratitude, and twinkling lights! It is my deep hope that as you read this, you are basking in the glow of holiday spirit.

But if you find celebratory spirit is hard to come by right now, please know that you are not alone. For many, ‘tis also the season of literal and metaphorical darkness: the shortest days of the year, cold air and no Vitamin D, family conflict, grief, seasonal depression, and social isolation.

This holiday season I want to offer you a short list of tips and tools to help you through if things aren’t as twinkly as you had hoped this holiday season.

Release expectations.

The good news is that you are living a real and nuanced life, rich in depth and opportunities to feel the whole range of your heart. You are not single-faceted or one-dimensional like the holiday narratives we swim in. Oversimplified sparkly expectations can be the salt in the wounds of our authentic, complex human experiences. So remember, your struggle does not mean you are doing anything wrong, it just means you are human.


Seek little moments.

Rather than seeking unidimensional joy, draw your attention to the little moments that make you smile or give you a passing wave of gratitude. You may stumble upon these moments or create them with intention. They may be moments of solitary peace, of connection to someone dear in your life, or of the simple pleasure of a beautiful view or a great bite of food. Collecting moments is like hanging decorations on a tree: each one may be small compared to the whole, but when you take a step back and look at them strung together, you will see a thing of beauty.


Find your people.

In any dark season, it is critical to lean into your relationships. You may feel alone right now, but there are people who love you who want to show up for you. There are neighbors, friends, and family members near and far who feel more whole, themselves, when they can be an active member of the community they share with you. None of us can do this alone. So let yourself ask for help, company, and comfort from the people in your life. They will have a dark season, too, and you can do the same for them.

Yours in the darkness and the light –

Lindsay B. Jernigan, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist – Doctorate
Eastern View Integrative Medicine
185 Tilley Dr. #14
South Burlington, VT 05403
802-229-8270
drlindsayjernigan.com
instagram.com/dr.lindsayjernigan