I work everyday with people struggling with relationship ambivalence; couples or individuals who are deep in the mire of trying to make what feels like an impossible decision about whether to stay in a relationship or let it go.
As I wrote in my recent Psychology Today article, “6 Ways Out of the Relationship Ambivalence Trap,” the ambivalence itself takes center stage over time and becomes a source of strain and drain in its own right:
The focus stops being on the relationship dynamics themselves or the possibility of something more positive in the future, whether together or not. Instead, the focus becomes the very question, “Should I stay or should I go?”
Many couples get stuck in this ambivalence, where it feels like there’s no good solution, no winning options. It feels like quicksand…Once ambivalence kicks in, we often get stuck in some cognitive and emotional loops that feel like one of those escape rooms–a space designed to feel impossible to exit.
Can you relate to this feeling? I promise you’re not alone. How do I know? Because over 20,000 people have read the article since I published it five days ago. In it I share important steps you can take to break out of ambivalence and move forward.
Ambivalence tells us one thing for sure: you are ready to be done with the version of your relationship that currently exists, one way or another, whether together or apart.
There are new paths forward, you may just need some help finding your way to them. I hope you find some helpful guidance in the full article, which you can find here.
Ambivalence is consuming, depleting, and anxiety provoking, and it breeds self-doubt and dissatisfaction. If you are struggling with ambivalence, consider not only the ways to create relationship momentum, but also the ways you can take care of yourself.
As always, you can support your own mental and emotional health, and personal growth and empowerment, through my Resilience and Women’s Awakening e-courses, respectively. Note to smart shoppers: it’s time for me to take the sale prices off these courses so they’ll be returning to full-price on October 15th. Find more info here!
There is a light at the end of the ambivalence tunnel, even if you can’t see it, yet. Sometimes you just need to borrow a flashlight to get on the right track.
Yours in finding a brighter path forward,
Lindsay B. Jernigan, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist – Doctorate
Eastern View Integrative Medicine
185 Tilley Dr. #14
South Burlington, VT 05403
802-229-8270
drlindsayjernigan.com
instagram.com/dr.lindsayjernigan