Six ways to help students shift into learning mode at home.
Walk into any classroom of old—you know, the kind with a teacher and a group of students all in one room together—and you’ll see teachers consciously and actively helping their students get into learning mode. Educators use phrases like “Put on your thinking caps!” They give specific, behavioral prompts, like “Please take out a pencil and a piece of paper!” And they have creative, contextual cues to communicate to their students that it is time to move out of whatever headspace they were in and into a new headspace governed by the expectations of the classroom; they flicker the lights, turn a rain stick upside down, or clap in a telltale pattern.
It’s no accident that these kinds of cues are happening in every classroom in school. Transitions are hard. Oddly, we often expect kids to make these shifts on a dime simply because we told them to. And yet, we know for ourselves how hard these transitions can be. Do you ever struggle with trying to get yourself to go from knowing you want to exercise to actually doing it? Or to shift from knowing you want to get yourself to go to bed, to actually heading up the stairs? Knowing you want to engage in a new behavior somehow doesn’t flip the switch and make it easy to do. Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that.
There is a process that is deeper and more nuanced than the behavioral transition, and is what I call “state shifting”. Think of this as the invisible cognitive, emotional, neural, and vibrational transitions we have to go through to move from one state of being to another. These are the layers that help explain why we feel different inside of ourselves when we are in a groove at work versus when we are snuggled up on the sofa, or when we are listening intently to a friend versus small-talking at a cocktail party. It’s not only our behaviors that are different in these examples, but our internal states are different, too. State shifting is not just the transition in what we are doing; it’s a transition into different parts of our brain, and different parts of ourselves.
Moving from one state to another is often an internally scratchy process. At first, when we try to behave in ways that match the new desired state, it feels forced or strange. For example, as adults, we often experience the awkward, uncomfortable process of state shifting when we are transitioning into being sensual or creative. We try to open ourselves for a tryst with our spouse as we enter the bedroom, but we feel self-conscious and clumsy. Or we stare at the empty page thinking no creative words will ever find their way out of our busy minds. If we aren’t prepared for this awkward part of the process of crossing over into the new state, we might, at this point, turn back. We might smile at our partner from the other side of the bed and then pick up a book because we just aren’t feeling it. Or we might stand up from the desk and decide we can’t find the muse, leaving our creative work undone. Successful transition in these moments depends on helping our internal self, not just our behavioral self, transition into the new state.
The reality is that moving from one internal state to the next takes some tolerance to endure the bumpy internal ride. Our kids have to go through this same bumpy ride to shift into a learning state—one where their brains and psyches allow for curiosity, openness, questioning, learning, creativity, and engagement. They feel just as scratchy and awkward sitting down in front of their computer screen in the morning as you would feel sitting down to write a poem on demand. And now, in the age of remote learning, many of them have to go through these complex state shifts without the cues teachers give to signal that it’s time to transition. They need help taking those steps across the transition and into the new space.
So how do we help?
1. Find the first next step. When we are standing on a riverbank looking at the other side, we can’t always see the way across. And if the crossing looks too overwhelming, we are likely to be stuck where we stand. This is how our kids often feel when they are standing alone in their bedroom looking their blank computer screen in the eye. Try helping them find the one next step. Just like when you are crossing a river, sometimes you can only take one step at a time, and the next steppingstone reveals itself as you go. I use this trick with myself all the time to move into exercise. It feels overwhelming to transition from rest to exercise, but I can usually get myself to at least put on my workout clothes. Once I’m in my workout clothes I can usually get myself to pick up the dog leash. And once I have the dog leash in hand and an excited pooch at my feet, it doesn’t feel like such a giant leap anymore to get out the door. What’s the equivalent for your child? What’s the first next step to move into learning mode? Maybe it’s filling up a water bottle to take upstairs. Maybe it’s gathering up their books and notebooks. Or maybe it’s simply turning on the computer. Whatever it is, the next next step will always reveal itself once the first step is taken.
2. Have a workspace (or two) set up. When our kids went to in-person school, they had the benefit of having pre-established spaces set-up that they could enter each day as they shifted states. The classroom was set-up in intentional ways to support learning and encourage creativity, engagement, and focus. Distractions at their desks were minimized, and their peripheral vision was filled with interesting posters, toys, and supplies to keep their creative minds activated. The space supported the desired new state of open-minded curiosity and readiness to learn, and the consistency of the space helped condition the kids to the necessary state shift: entering the space was a step that signaled to their brains and bodies that it was time to crossover. Do what you can to replicate this at home. Create spaces that limit distraction and appeal to your student. Have your student go to their workspace consistently so they become conditioned to shifting into work mode in that space. My kids have even conditioned themselves to think in certain ways in different spaces; they like to do their reading in their bedrooms, their math at the desk, and their artwork at the dining room table. Each space supports the necessary state shift they need to make to be engaged and productive in a new way.
3. Keep up good “school hygiene” protocols. In this case, I’m not talking about the hand and desk washing protocols; I’m talking about having a routine. Have you ever heard of sleep hygiene? Sleep hygiene refers to the routines we keep that signal to our bodies that it’s time to start crossing over into the sleepy state. We might have a cup of tea, wash our face and brush our teeth, and read in bed. The repetition of that routine conditions our bodies to the state shift. As we start to make our tea, our body knows what’s coming next, and starts the internal transition necessary for the new state—the production of melatonin. Similarly, we can help our kids smooth out their transitions by maintaining a routine to condition their bodies and brains to know when it’s time to shift into a learning state. Maybe your student’s routine involves eating breakfast, putting on their favorite slippers, and saying good morning to a couple of friends. The details of the routine don’t matter; what matters is the consistency.
4. Be mindful of technology. Personal devices can play a complicated role when it comes to state shifting. Being on a phone might be making state shifting nearly impossible if it is drawing your child back into the original state again and again. It’s like trying to walk across the bridge wearing a parachute that opens up behind you every three seconds. Yet, while it may be tempting to throw the thing out the window, it’s also possible that the phone might be helping! Kids are used to going through the state shift together. They pour into the school and bounce off each other, literally and figuratively, as they go through the routine that prepares them to start learning. The collective, group energy and intention make this easier. Kids may be using their technology to recreate this. For example, many kids are doing their schoolwork while on FaceTime with a friend who is doing different schoolwork. They aren’t working on the same content, they are simply state shifting together and working in parallel. If your student is using technology this way, the friend on the other end of the line is your best ally.
5. Teach your kids about state shifting. Let your kids know that the struggle is real! Help them anticipate that transitioning into learning mode will sometimes feel hard so they don’t feel overwhelmed or stymied by that natural experience. Share the image that they are physically crossing over a bridge to get from one state to the next, and engage them in thinking about what the steps are that help them crossover. Just having this challenge explained and validated can make it exponentially easier to keep moving forward.
6. Temper your own expectations to avoid frustration! Your kids aren’t the only ones who will benefit from remembering that the struggle to state shift is real. Remind yourself that they can’t simply pop into learning mode … they have to crossover. Be patient with the process. Expect it. And give them time. And here’s a free parenting tip: Being yelled at doesn’t help someone state shift. Neither does being told to “just start!” (That’s my personal go-to when I lose patience, and I can attest … it doesn’t work). Remember that starting is hard. Help your kids remember that starting is hard. And then, one next step at a time, they’ll find their way across.