Women are so strong it’s not even funny.

Hi ,

STORY TIME!

At 7:48 last night, one of my daughters texted me from the library where she was studying. Her message read, “Women are so strong it’s not even funny.”

I responded, “Agreed. But what makes you say so tonight?”

As she walked home, later, she called to tell me the story about the graduate student one table over. She had found her inspiring right off the bat, surrounded by “literally 24 books,” deep in intellectual pursuit. But it got even better when the grad student asked a classmate who was packing up for the night how her paper was going, and generously jumped into deep collaboration, offering ideas and resources to help her friend through a stuck point. What stood out to my daughter was how authentically the helper was invested in her friend’s process, giving her own time and intellectual energy to support her friend’s success. As a woman in a culture where women are often pitted against each other, this kind of selfless support was a lovely sight to behold.

But it got better.

“Wait!” said the classmate who was pulling on her jacket to leave. “Weren’t you pregnant last semester?”

The woman at the table confirmed that yes, she was, and she pulled up a photo to share. “My two youngest kids,” the mom said, smiling at the photo. When asked how many kids she had, she replied, “Well, I had four, but my oldest passed away. He would’ve been eight next week.” Not only was this young woman busting her ass to get through grad school, but she was doing so with three young kids at home, and with the broken heart of a mother in grief. Strength incarnate.

The women spoke more about the beautiful smiles on the children in the photographs, returned to the topics of their papers, and as the classmate walked towards the exit she called out, “I’m rooting for you!” Wild, flagrant, open support. Women refusing to compete. Women staying upright in their storms. Women cheering each other on.

But it got better.

When she was almost out of the library, the classmate turned back. Returning to the young mom’s side she said quietly, “Maybe you can help me. A dear friend of mine’s baby died recently, and I don’t know what to say or how to help.” “Can I offer some advice?” asked the mom. “Speak her baby’s name to her forever. Don’t shy away from it. Don’t avoid it. Text happy birthday on the baby’s birthday…and use the baby’s name. Let her know you are thinking of her on the anniversary of the baby’s passing…and use the baby’s name.” Her classmate welcomed her hard earned wisdom warmly and gratefully, and soon they wished each other good luck with their papers and parted ways.

That’s the moment my daughter texted me, “Women are so strong it’s not even funny.”

These women showed up intellectually for themselves and their passions; they showed up supportively for each other’s work; they showed up even with their broken hearts; they showed up open-heartedly in the face of each other’s pain; and they showed up vulnerably and resiliently for the hard work of being human together. Even when there was enough to bury them, they showed up. And they kept going. And they kept learning. And they kept sharing. And they kept growing.

In the face of all that is publicly heart breaking in our world right now, and all that is privately heart breaking in your own, remember that you are stronger than you think.

Remember that supporting each other wildly and flagrantly is an act of resistance and subversion.

Remember that your mind wants to keep learning, and your thoughts and contributions are more critical than ever.

Remember that when it feels like too much, you can keep going.

Remember that you can stand through the storm, except for the days when you need to lie down, and on those days there will be people who are ready to hold you up, because you will hold them up tomorrow.

Women are so strong it’s not even funny.

Yours in strength –

~ Lindsay

Therapists!!

My training on May 2nd is a resource to keep YOU strong in the hard work of being a therapist right now. The heavier the world gets, the heavier our work gets. We will talk about:

~ how to support people who are feeling the same despair you feel

~ how the work is changed by the communal nature of the cultural crisis

~ how to protect your own energy from contagious helplessness and hopelessness

~ how to help clients tap into resilience

~ how to protect clients’ access to care

…and more.

As of right now we are half full!! Register today!

6 CEs available for counselors, social workers, and psychologists in Vermont.

Coming from out of state? I can provide a certificate of completion and a copy of the agenda that you can submit to your OPR.

See you there!!

Lindsay B. Jernigan, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist – Doctorate
802-229-8270
drlindsayjernigan.com
instagram.com/dr.lindsayjernigan